Hair

I don’t shave. I don’t know how many people notice but no one has said anything to me except my husband, and his comment was “well, you don’t expect me to shave my legs so how can I complain?”

I used to shave my legs, I even enjoy having them smooth but at some point I just felt irritated by the time and trouble it took. Which led me to be irritated with myself because I knew I was doing it because of what other people thought and that bothers me.

I sometimes wonder how many other people get especially crabby with themselves if they find they’ve been doing something because of what other people think. It just gives me this icky feeling in my belly and a low level disturbance in the force that is me. This disturbance had been going on for years, but a couple of years ago when I started meditating I couldn’t keep the thought out of my mind: “I could meditate for that time, why on earth would I waste it doing something useless?” So the times in between shaving got less. I do like the hair to be gone sometimes, so I thought, “Well, if I don’t have to worry about it very often, maybe that would help.” So I tried waxing, it hurt and it took longer than shaving and it didn’t seem to do enough to warrant that sort of time and pain. So I bought an epilator and had the same issues.

So by this time I feel even more irritated with myself for putting even more money, time and energy into this issue when my main problem with it in the first place was that it was taking up more time and energy in my life than it had any right to.

That was it, I couldn’t get myself to shave any more. I don’t care a ton what people think of how I look but I did find myself nervous. I don’t need people to think I’m hot but I realised quickly that I didn’t want them to think I was gross either. If anyone has, they haven’t mentioned it to me. In the last few years I have spent my “shaving time” doing some important things, like spending time with my family or meditating and some not important things like checking my facebook page. The important part for me is that I don’t feel icky about it. I’m past worrying about other people feeling icky for the most part. I just feel good, like I took control of a tiny part of my life.

I took control back from the people who frankly are probably already horrified by me and my total lack of makeup, high heels, and hair products.

You may think this means I am against hair removal, but that is not the case. I have hair in places I don’t like. I pluck my neck/chin beard because the hairs drive me nuts! I mean there are lots of hairs there but the thick pokey ones irritate me on a sensory level, so away they go(same with nipple hairs). If you look at my neck in the right light I still have a serious beard going on. I don’t shave my delicate lady hairs *snort* or my arm pits either. I trim them because I like them better that way. I think anyone who wants to remove hair should go for it, it’s about doing what feels right to you. I think we should open it up so that men feel more freedom to remove unwanted hair too.

I don’t expect everyone to feel a need to stop shaving. For anyone who does, my advice is balance what feels right to you against respect for your comfort level. I stopped shaving when my irritation at the expectation that I should shave butted heads with my confidence. I didn’t wait until I felt totally comfortable. I was definitely at the edge of my comfort zone, but not so far out of my comfort zone that I would be more ill at ease than I had been with shaving. I wanted to stretch myself but not put myself in a position where I couldn’t respond to people with confidence if someone made a rude comment.

This is ALL about respect for yourself. Respect your comfort zone and its need to be stretched sometimes. Respect your sovereignty over your own body and your need to fit into our culture sometimes.

Advertisements

About Veronica
Veronica Grace is a writer/editor for http://goodmenproject.com/ and a pragmatic idealist mother to two sons, one who has rudely determined he will become a teenager without her permission and the other who wouldn't notice the world ending as long as he had a book in his hands. She holds equality, honesty and compassion among her highest ideals and has found herself currently obsessed with gender roles and practical minimalism. She is always obsessed with why people do the things they do. She is attempting to learn the mysteries that are the twitterverse @vsassypants

6 Responses to Hair

  1. nataliejo210 says:

    I love this article! I just started a blog and it would mean so much if you could check out my site! Followed btw xx

  2. Veronica says:

    If you are interested in the concept of not shaving you may enjoy W.A.N.G http://wangclub.tumblr.com/ They inspired me to write this blog and get my hairy thoughts out in the open.

  3. Pingback: Accepting Bodies as They Are – slimegreen

  4. HyeKeen says:

    Thanks for this article – I’ve been a non-leg shaver for a long time now, basically for the reasons you listed – I’d rather use that time for something more meaningful to me. If I could get rid of the leg hair permanently I would (looked into laser treatments but alas it doesn’t work well on fair-haired folks like me).

    It’s interesting because both shaven and hairy legs have positive aesthetic qualities – I love the feeling of bedsheets on my smooth legs, but I also love the feel of the breeze on my hairy legs. 🙂

  5. Jennie says:

    I don’t shave either! Legs, armpits, bikini… nada. I haven’t for about 5 years now.
    I live in the American midwest. Hubby says he catches people staring at me, but I must be oblivious, because I haven’t noticed anyone else noticing. I wear a lot of tank tops and shorts, so it doesn’t surprise me that people notice. My father is the only person that has actually mentioned out loud that he noticed I don’t shave anything. And even that was in relation to my lengthy shower time. 😀

  6. Veronica says:

    Oh man my dad used to have fits about my shower time! If I had quit shaving back then I would have saved not only time but also his crabbiness! and think of all the water I would have saved!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

Quarks and Quirks

Homeschooling Two Twice-Exceptional Boys

Why It Matters

Music. Memoir. More.

Gotta Find a Home

Conversations with Street People

Kindness Blog

Kindness Images, Videos, True Life Stories, Quotes, Personal Reflections and Meditations.

Beating Trauma

Transcending a Childhood of Sex Abuse and Trafficking

This Mommy's Adventures of Autism, Special Needs, and Everything in Between

My family. Our stories. Parent and Creative Explorer

Captain Awkward

Advice. Staircase Wit. Faux Pas. Movies.

Becoming Minimalist

Sassy ~ sas·sy /ˈsasē/ Adjective Lively, bold, and full of spirit; cheeky.

%d bloggers like this: